No matter the circumstances, divorce is difficult for the entire family. If you’re a parent, you might be especially concerned about what to tell your children or how they will react to the divorce. While every child’s reaction and emotions are as unique as they are, parents can prepare themselves by talking with their divorce attorney, who can help them access additional resources, and even speaking with a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW). You may be specifically wondering about the information kids want and need to know about divorce. Here are some of those things.
You Still Love Them
Above all, your children need to know that you still love them. Depending on their age, some children may question your love for them or if you will still be there for them after the divorce. They need to know that your relationship with your spouse doesn’t impact how you feel about them. You are still and will continue to be their mom or dad and love them no matter your relationship status with your spouse. Some children may need to hear this reassurance multiple times and in multiple ways.
Your Divorce Isn’t Their Fault
In addition to your love for them, kids want and need to know that the divorce isn’t their fault. Be sure your communication with them is age appropriate—they may not need to know many details about why you are getting divorced. Many times, especially for younger children, simply hearing that the divorce isn’t their fault and had nothing to do with them but is instead arising from interpersonal issues between you and their other parent is enough. If they are older, you may choose to give them a few more details about your reasons for divorce; if you feel like they can understand and feel it will help them to process what is happening.
How Divorce Will Impact Their Lives
While you can’t possibly predict all the ways your divorce will impact your children, you can give them some anticipatory guidance and reassurance regarding what you know will or won’t change.
On the other hand, if you don’t know something or are unsure of something at this point in time, be honest with them as well. Your children may be wondering about some or all of the following:
- Which parent will they live with?
- Will they still see or have contact with the parent they don’t live with?
- Which parent will they vacation with?
- Will they continue to live in the family home?
- Will their school change?
- Will their friends change?
- Will their activities outside of school change?
- If you are moving out of the family home, where are you going?
- Will they keep their possessions?
- What will other children think of them in light of the divorce?
Meet With a Trusted Maryland Family Law Attorney
As a parent and a spouse enduring divorce, you likely have a lot of questions yourself. Seeking answers from a qualified professional, such as a trusted Maryland family law attorney, is always best. The sooner you hire an attorney to help you through this process, the better the outcome for you and your children.